roses from z / photo by author

Goodbye , A.

I’m sorry, Z.

All that work done over the last year

Gone in a flash

When I learned your brother died a horrible death

The weekend before Memorial Day.

I say,

I have moved on. I am healed, and although I will always love you, we are not meant to be.

And I cry into my new lover’s chest

For all my old lover has lost.

For all we have lost.

I send my old lover, and his brother’s daughter a text. And I send the family a bouquet of white peonies.

It’s complicated sleeping beside someone. One of which during that slumber, I dream of new hopes and love. But be devastated over another man. A man I once had hopes and dreams with prior. A man I had loved and died for.

How do I begin to explain this? Or process this?

But I don’t think there is any one way to explain this. Or process this.

You were once part of a family, which you are, no longer. And a man you spent Christmases with, Thanksgivings at your dining room table, and birthdays laughing over pizza and…