Oh my god. Thank you for writing about what I feel every single day of my life. I love and adore my child. But I wish I never had her. Its so hard to explain unless you're a mother and you've experienced it. On the one hand, she saved me. She changed me. She changed my design, my purpose, my vision and dreams. But being a mum is the most painful experience I've went through. Not child birth. Motherhood. I Dont feel it comes easy to me. I'm not naturally motherly. I am naturally loving and thoughtful and deeply emotive. But idk. Long story short, this was a great post. And I resonate completely.

My first words to my daughter were “i’m sorry,” because I knew I could never live up to my own standards of motherhood of which she deserved. And I'm sorry to report, I was right. There were many hard years. I am not the parent she comes to when she's hurt or scared or sad or sick. But the only thing I care about is that my daughter is happy, healthy, and loved. And she is all those things. She's gonna be alright, she's gonna be fine, she's going to thrive — despite me.
Thank you for making me feel seen and heard with this post 🩵